I like fairies, they didn't have it, so I was forced into this. oh well.

I wish I understood why everyday I have a different mood. Yes I know I am bipolar but that does not change the fact that one day I am beating my self up mentally and emotionally, and now I am happy go lucky even though I failed my road test.  I wish I understood why I do that to myself and I wish I understood just a tiny bit of who I am and what I shall become.
I know I must be one of the hardest people to deal with at times and I feel bad but why is it I can't even understand my self?  Why is it that I know how I am and who I am but on the inside I am tearing myself apart?  Why is it I know who and what I am and what is expected and even though I try to behave to the best of my ability I still feel like I am the fithiest scum on earth.
Well I got to go I will write later
Samantha Eklund
Hey for any one who needs to know my new e-mail address is nazcollege2006@gmail.com or seklund4@naz.edu.